I am reading a great book that I checked out from our church library, "Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World" by Jill Rigby. Although it is not geared for raising toddlers, she has a lot of great insights and brings up the stages of teaching respect. I have a child in each of the first two stages right now: a tot and a tyke.
According to Rigby, a child from birth to age two is considered a tot. When it comes to teaching respect, tots mainly need routines and to learn that their parents mean what they say. Those are the two best ways a child learns to trust. I think routines are fairly easy to establish. We eat at around the same time each night. Games, baths, a cartoon, and some stories always come next, and in that order...every night (except Wednesday--we have Bible class from 7pm til 8pm). We have other routines throughout the day and week. It is peaceful when everybody knows what to expect.
Meaning what we say is even more important. I don't think those routines happen if we can't follow through with what we say. That may need to be an entirely different post of its own.
Tykes are the 3 to 5 year olds. Their developmental goal is security, which is built through recognition. Ever notice how a tyke loves to say, "Are you watching me? Hey, watch this! Look at me!" When they know we are watching, they feel protected. They also are more free to care for others b/c they aren't so busy looking out for themselves. Tykes also want to know "Who do I belong to?" Adam used to ask me how long he'd be in our family. Children this age need a sense of belonging. They need to be our helpers. They need to know we can't make it without them and that they are needed. Give your tykes jobs to do and tell them what an asset they are to the family. (My friend Amy did a great post on her blog about this recently. Click here to read it.)
There is a lot more to deal with when it comes to raising tots & tykes, but the little things we do now to build trust and recognition lay the foundation for having respectful tweens and teens (and who doesn't want that?!).
So I'm thinking for next week's tidbit...dealing with little tempers? It is a topic of conversation with many of my friends, lately, and I need some suggestions for my own house. Anyone interested? Comments welcome!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Well, Thanksgiving was interesting. Our car broke down on our way to our Thanksgiving meal! Later we found out it was the tow truck driver's fault! He said he'd been praying for something to happen around 11 so he wouldn't have to go to the Thanksgiving meal his family had planned. He said his wife left him & when the family gets together, all they want to do is talk about why she left! I guess it is good that we could help him out!
We still had a great meal and visit with family. Thanks to Randy and Connie for getting us there! (That is a whole different crazy story!)
The good news is that a few months ago, I got a great Groupon deal for a AAA membership. It certainly came in handy!
Here are my sweeties on Turkey Day...
(Doesn't look like either of them were thrilled to have their picture taken here.)
That's a little better, Levi ;)
4 comments :
Their expressions are hilarious!
Good ideas! We always try to make Emma laugh when she let's her temper get the best of her. Eli is a great help with that! I didn't know your car broke down... Glad it worked out okay. Sweet boys!
Colin has a bad temper. Luckily, as he ages it flares up less frequently. In Colin's case, his temper is hereditary - his dad has one too. A couple years ago I asked Jim when he mastered his temper and he said age 30!!! So I have 26 more years to go with Colin:(
Love the picture of your 2 boys. Their serious faces made me laugh!
Haha, love the boys faces in that picture!! My six year old has the worst temper! She is my only child I have major issues with. I would love for you to do a post on tempers.
Post a Comment