Living By Faith

Levi slept well and was more alert during the day today. Hopefully that will continue. I am pretty tired because I am supposed to wake him up every 3 hours even at night to feed him until he gains weight. I had only been letting him go 4 hours, but what a difference it made. I feel super tired today, even though I got to go back to bed after his 6 am feeding b/c Connie was here to help with Adam.

Adam has been doing well with all the change in his life but was acting out a bit today. He is learning when my hands are too full to follow through. It is upsetting because he has always been so obedient and happy to help. Today he didn't even want to clean up, which is not like him at all. Ahhh...the adventures of being a mother of two. I will get used to it and learn what works for him. He just caught me off guard today, and I was tired. He was tired, too. He took an early morning nap, slept well at his afternoon nap, but still went to bed early and fell right to sleep. I think I will get up with him tomorrow to spend time with him and nap while he is asleep so we can start the day with some positive attention for him.

I have been feeling pretty good mentally and haven't cried once since we found out Levi's test results, but I go back and forth in my thoughts. Yesterday I kept thinking about how special Levi will be to us and what fun we will have as a family. I saw him as a wonderful gift. Today for some reason, I keep wondering, "Why me? If only 1 out of 800 or so babies are born with DS, why me? Did I do something wrong?" I know it is illogical, and that I didn't do anything wrong, but keep wrestling with the thought. I do need some rest. Hopefully that will help me chase away these negative feelings... that and some snuggles with the tiny little life that I have been entrusted with.

We are looking into the Down Syndrome Association of Central Kentucky's parent groups. There is a group for parents of 0-5 year olds that meets monthly. I sent an email to get details. I think it would be great to meet some families and make some friends that also have children with DS. Siblings are welcome and they provide child care during the meetings. Of course, we can't take Levi for awhile, but it should be fun. They even have groups for siblings, which might be a great thing for Adam when he is older. I feel ready to take the plunge and get plugged in to the Down Syndrome community. I want to give Levi the best care he can get & show the world how cool he is going to be!