I started to get really discouraged last night when Levi had a few disappointing nursing sessions. I would then pump, but during that time he would cry b/c he was hungry (and he has rarely cried at all since his birth). I just felt so bad for him. At his 4am feeding, I asked the nurse for some suggestions, and Levi latched on and ate for 10 min. with no problem. He even burped afterward. I still had to pump & feed him that through the syringe, but he slept peacefully right beside me while waiting. I was so pleased.
I haven't really slept since then. Either a cold or allergies are making it hard to breathe. A shower helped a lot. A cold makes me feel so tired, so this is really not what I need at this time, but I will manage.
We are supposed to go home today, but don't really have an idea of when. I miss Adam so much but am afraid I am going to break down when I see him. I'm getting teared up just thinking about it. I hope I have the energy to have some normal playtime with him today and to give him my full attention for awhile.
Hoping today that my brain does less thinking and more doing. My goal is to be in the moment and enjoy each step of this new journey as it comes. I keep looking at Levi and seeing him as a thirty year old man that needs my help getting ready in the mornings rather than the beautiful baby he is. I keep wondering if he is going to have heart problems or how I can help him develop good speech or if he'll get sick a lot. Gotta start looking at the here and now. So here's to a new day...
3 comments :
You will do wonderfully! Take your own advice and just take things as they come. I have a very good friend who went through the same situation 3 years ago. I remember how overwhelmed she was in the beginning, but her and her husband made it through. You guys will too. Me and the boys(our prayer group at MHCoC) are praying! Love you all. . .
Remember Proverbs 3:5. Praying for you all. Hugs!
April, you inspire me. Love you and y'all are in my prayers!!
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